Sometimes I am a person. The rest of the time, I’m the internet.Tumblr (3.0; @brendanistheinternet)http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/2d9dcfc98bffe71ed3a7c8fa2b3d025b/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o10_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/fd4365f0cd044b50196b2cd4637ef340/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/403edcd59661a6143d67ebb2b179b6da/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/eb939f5b33d93a9db789ce74af4305e4/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e7ae9fb0b7fc5f6fb784147aff54ee38/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/3e51602265b2010064f988e6ba276033/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o5_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/115bfa845cb94f654cf76273ec22064d/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o6_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/7721f2c02a0bf4037c0721fee6bf5172/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o7_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/b8ade0d4807478fd281a3020fd84dc73/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o8_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/2b043c2286ca1eea899396525484120f/tumblr_mht96mXi5d1qdgp86o9_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://tuffstuf.tumblr.com/post/42438746186/two-weeks-ago-i-walked-through-the-doors-of">tuffstuf</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p class="p1">Two weeks ago, I walked through the doors of Wieden + Kennedy in Portland and directly into my friend Jason.</p> <p class="p2"><span>We caught up for a second before he said: “Oh hey, do you sculpt? I need sculptors.”</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>I said no, because I am not a sculptor. Then we parted ways.</span><span> </span></p> <p class="p2"><span>That night, I though to myself: “Wait, I’m a sculptor, why am I not a sculptor?” I hadn’t sculpted since high school art class, but I was sure I could do it. Probably. Right?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>Actually, I wasn’t sure I could do it. I was very skeptical about my sculpting abilities. But somehow over the past few months, I’ve either been thrown or thrown myself squarely out of my comfort zone. It’s weird out here. I need to embrace that as fully as possible.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>So, I emailed Jason and told him that yes, I am a sculptor.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>That’s when he told me I’d be sculpting with Oreos.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>I’m writing this after my third full day of sculpting with Oreo cookie and cream. I am exhausted. Parts of me smell amazing. Other parts don’t.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>At no point in the past 72 hours did I know what I was doing. And it was a blast.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span>Above, you’ll find my best sculptures and one picture of me freaking out that 8,000 people liked on Instagram . Please enjoy them.</span></p> </blockquote>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/42452019978http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/42452019978Wed, 06 Feb 2013 16:40:29 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6d1756382f2ac491957e9e9045879bc7/tumblr_mfik373m7i1qdgp86o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://tuffstuf.tumblr.com/post/38677771653/i-hope">tuffstuf</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I hope.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is what and how I keep telling myself….</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/38862004846http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/38862004846Wed, 26 Dec 2012 06:56:37 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/5ff2a5d0d33b70b7859bcfd12e6acf25/tumblr_mfcqgwfn331qipvaoo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://www.dangerrooster.com/post/38415342973/bob-ross-painted-slayers-reign-in-blood-album">dangerrooster</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Bob Ross painted Slayer’s Reign In Blood album cover. #slayer #bobross #reigninblood #rainingblood #happytrees #painting</p> </blockquote>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/38424494603http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/38424494603Thu, 20 Dec 2012 19:55:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/cfe8ccca839ca402f73d1dedf9fd7413/tumblr_meofgbgvDD1qzyn4uo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://curtneill.tumblr.com/post/37418705178">curtneill</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Ugh.</p> </blockquote> <p>Seconded.</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37821669453http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37821669453Thu, 13 Dec 2012 03:23:16 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/98f54ab24c46f83b17f88c037874b0ad/tumblr_meyfflrj1Z1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“That’s no moonshine.”<br/><br/>(I hope I made that joke before George Takei gets a hold of this picture) </p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37815479978http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37815479978Thu, 13 Dec 2012 00:33:21 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e0d301f7a5c0fa93bdf542077bf67f22/tumblr_mes0kiGCou1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Totally math.</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37569403833http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37569403833Sun, 09 Dec 2012 13:26:42 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9d470c4ffe92e98db5b8360a831096f1/tumblr_meogpyDHTr1r70r9lo1_400.png"/><br/><br/><p>Happy holidays, everyone.<br/><br/>Also, please help me. </p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37420345642http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/37420345642Fri, 07 Dec 2012 15:25:10 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdhkf0Ls3n1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>In a rare twist, the internet was classier than I am.  I would’ve gone for a fart joke.</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/35709355960http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/35709355960Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:28:12 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdabxx3Def1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/35421562370http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/35421562370Sat, 10 Nov 2012 13:41:57 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4l8trTMhM1qipvaoo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I want this.  But as a tattoo, not as food.</p> <p>I mean, if I had it as food, I’d eat it.  But I’d rather have this image as a tattoo.</p> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://www.dangerrooster.com/post/23739842799/amazing-calvin-hobbes-food-art-bento-box-by">dangerrooster</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Amazing Calvin & Hobbes Food Art!! (Bento Box by Anna The Red)</p> </blockquote>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/23806771674http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/23806771674Sat, 26 May 2012 13:43:08 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4m3ajABxk1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This is exactly how I always imagined Iron Mike.</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/23777399550http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/23777399550Sat, 26 May 2012 00:03:55 -0400Please don't tell him I made this joke<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1worqccWA1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>BOOM SHAKA LAKA!</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/20407094460http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/20407094460Tue, 03 Apr 2012 09:43:02 -0400G.O.A.T.<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0r9ftEAFG1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>and tell my son i love him…</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/19167050179http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/19167050179Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:50:17 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzfa01FPPU1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Happy Valentines Day.</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/17648697634http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/17648697634Wed, 15 Feb 2012 01:57:37 -0500bitches love love<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz36ig4bEF1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>One Froggy Evening</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/17270790620http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/17270790620Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:11:04 -0500Michigan J Frog<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2zt5yjeh1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Nice dmitri!  (nice to meet me!)</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/17266047051http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/17266047051Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:46:16 -0500dumb jokes<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lysg5hVXHk1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Well then, come on in!!!</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16941686636http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16941686636Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:05:40 -0500Would you fuck me?I'd fuck mePUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE FUCKING BASKET!<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lylr5a5Cwv1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16753121380http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16753121380Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:19:58 -0500math<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyl4ux1W3O1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“Hey girl, lemme git up in them guts…”</p> <p>-President Barack Obama</p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16728836648http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16728836648Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:18:32 -0500presidential pickup linesthe art of seductioni bet they have fucked all over every inch of the white house<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lykr24PXwx1r70r9lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Under Bork, by <a href="http://www.dangerrooster.com" target="_self">Jeff Tepper</a></p>http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16710063500http://brendanistheinternet.tumblr.com/post/16710063500Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:20:27 -0500Borkdy Bork Bork